This Mother's Day I had the beautiful opportunity to just think. To think about the wonderful, courageous, kind women in my life that have made me the person I am.
First and foremost in my mind is my own mother. She is such a great example to me in so many ways. She's always been so responsible and capable. Even when she was a single mother to two young children, she did what she had to do to support us and I admire her so much for that! She is the most level-headed person I know. I know that if I ever need to talk, she will give me clear and sound advice. When I was struggling with my pregnancy with Parker, she was always there to pull me back from the ledge and give me hope. My grandfather always called her "Jake," which is Parker's middle name. She is also absolutely hilarious, a real spit-fire. I have never met someone that doesn't just fall in love with my mother, and agree she is the coolest mom ever.
Second is my stepmother, Debbie. Chances are, she probably won't even read this, but I'd like to put it out there. My relationship with my father used to be non-existent. However once she came along, she really pushed for a good bond between us all. She has taken several fragments of a broken family and glued them all back together. We are a family now, all my stepsisters and half brothers and everything, we're tight as blood. She is very crafty, she makes my boys tons of stuff. Its nice to know that she's always thinking of us. She can see a shelf and think "that would be perfect for Colby's room!" And if you're ever feeling lonely, she is the best to talk to. She could talk to you for hours! I'm so lucky to have her!
And then my Mother-in-law, Pam. She holds a special place in my heart, because she raised the most incredible guy to be my husband. He is the most thoughtful and hard-working person I've ever met. I wish I had just an inkling of her knowledge on how to raise sweet, kind, responsible boys. She is also so attentive to my sons. In her eyes they are absolutely perfect little darlings, rather than the demons they can (sometimes) be. She is also a great example of church to me. She is so happy to fulfill her callings, and just loves where ever they put her. She also is so wonderful at making her daughter-in-laws feel welcome and included.
I think though, the thing that has been on my mind today the most is the mothers in my life who have passed on since last year. This is so hard for me because I miss them terribly. Part of it feels like they're not even gone, but part of me just wants to sob and sob because I know I can't visit them today.
My grandmother who helped raise me. She was so amazing. I'm not going to lie, she could be ornery and downright disagreeable at times, but she loved me so much. And I loved her. Sometimes it felt like she was my biggest cheerleader. She was always so thrilled for my visits, her face would light up and she would happily talk to me for hours. I grew up in that house, watched Tuggy the tugboat in the backroom as a preschooler, played with the old-school little people in her basement. I would curl up on those big brown chairs of Grandpa's and hers when I was too sick to go to school. When I'd come down for college, she'd force a twenty into pocket and tell me to buy food with it. And then she'd pack up all the food from her latest grocery store visit and tell me to take it with me. I remember one day we sat curled up in her room, as she pulled each item out of her jewelry box. She told me where she got each one, and then confided to me that her fear was that no one would care about it when she died. I could go on and on about all the stories of our life together. But I'm already sitting here crying, wishing to hug her one more time.
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And then Grant's grandma, I guess my grandmother-in-law? This one really shook me to the core. I never expected her to go so soon, I was planning on at least another 20 years to share in her company. The best word I can use to describe her is genuine. She was so wonderful, without malice or guile. She loved you completely and heartily. She was so willing to serve each person in need. She was always quick with a hug and a honest "I love you." She taught me what it is to be a Relief Society sister, always working hard but under the radar. If I could have just an ounce of her energy and drive, I could move mountains. My mother told me that after my grandmother's death, Colleen saw her outside and just ran to her and hugged her as she cried. This just further proves the incredible kindness and love that she has for everyone. I feel so privileged to have even met her, and I wish I had taken every opportunity to learn from her and love her when I could've.
All of these incredible women have really taught and inspired me. I hope that I can be as kind, gentle, loving and awesome as they all are. Happy Mother's Day, everyone.
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